So. Anglo Irish Bank is to be split into a bank that is full if pointless evil Tiger residue and a bank that will accept deposits but won’t lend. The former is a pit of shame, the latter just a shitty game.

Why, Mister Lenihan, are you able to look a radio microphone in the diaphragm and a camera in the iris given the responsibility you bear for this surreal miasma? How do you do it? I can’t. This morning I brought a book back to Rathmines library which my 4 year old son had either allowed or encouraged to be partially ingested by a rogue bichon-friese dog. The dog had literally eaten my book. I felt responsible because I was responsible. I knew that I owed the library and the under-5 borrowing bookworms of Rathmines a book or the monetary equivalent.

I did not feel I could escape this responsibility by dividing the savaged volume into a good book and a bad book. There’s no shelf where the mangled spine and cover might reside masquerading as a book while on another shelf pages 5 to 6 with their still-intact pictures of Bobby The Bunny beaming acontextually out at the nippers. The two good pages of Bobby The Bunny Goes Picnicking may not be retained on the library’s catalogue as an actual book: capable of being stored but not loaned. Because that would be stupid.

I apologised for my failure as a boardbook custodian and accepted that the liability for that failure should be spread among those responsible, not among those who lost out through Bobby’s partial ingestion on my watch. I guess I could have panhandled my way up Rathmines Rd attempting to acquire the replacement book cost from passing citizens, explaining that I had turned a corner and realised that in some curcumstances a book, a 4 year old child and an enthusiastic terrier should not be permitted to commingle. I could have pointed out that said citizens ought to stump up because they would loose all future Bobby-Reading opportunity if they did not. I could have pointed out that things were crazy, there was a dog and a child and a book and we all did it do “whaddya gonna do?”. But, not being a remorseless sociopath, I wouldn’t dream of it.

The Anglo Book has been irrevocably chewed by a mongrel Tiger, Mr Lenihan. You owe us a copy of Bobby The Bunny Goes Leveraging. Also, could you keep the noise down? People are trying to live.